I am sure that anyone who has ever been pregnant or had a baby has been verbally accosted with peoples opinions, questions, and comments. I am NOT sure why people do this, or why they feel like they need to share or ask such personal questions. I wish that I could say that it was just complete strangers that felt they need to interject themselves in my life and our choices, but when it comes to co-workers, family and friends I wish that people would follow the simple, yet foundational, rule "if you don't have something nice to say don't say it (or ask it) at all." Here are the wonderful collection of peoples comments/questions and how I wish that I could respond.
"Oh, are they twins.....?" ----- Yes, they are twins, hence the same clothing, same paci's, same earrings, twin stroller and the general overall look of sleep deprivation and haphazard look of my general appearance. Sometimes I just want to say nope, and walk away because when I answer "yes" we get the battery of the following questions.
"Oh, are they paternal?" ---- yes, they have a father... oh, you meant fraternal... yes they are that too.
"Are they natural?"--- nope, they are plastic. And I am still not really sure why this question is necessarily as if they mean less or not worth as much??!! Still not really sure.
Were you surprised when you found out they were twins??. YES!! I am pretty sure everyone is surprised when they find out they are pregnant, even when you "plan" to get pregnant there is something that takes your breath away when two lines appear.
And expanding on that last one... "Oh, you did fertility treatments, so you knew you were going to have twins...." Nope, I am not God, I can not foretell my future. I went with the recommendations of my team of fertility doctors, who were all in agreence that we would transfer two. And this question bothers me even more when it is projected that I should have known this was going to happen.
My favorite question is, "do they run in your family?" .. YES, I have twin cousins (which is not a lie!). Or, if they don't run in your family.. They do now! Usually if they ask this questions the questions stop!!!!
I know there are some sassy responses that I could never really say, so the majority of the time I just smile and nod and try to not make eye contact. Its really hard when I am just trying to get in and out of somewhere. The deck is already stacked against me having two nuggets to get in and out of the car, keep happy during our shopping expeditions, but to add everyone stopping you with questions it does not help!
