I am sure that anyone who has ever been pregnant or had a baby has been verbally accosted with peoples opinions, questions, and comments. I am NOT sure why people do this, or why they feel like they need to share or ask such personal questions. I wish that I could say that it was just complete strangers that felt they need to interject themselves in my life and our choices, but when it comes to co-workers, family and friends I wish that people would follow the simple, yet foundational, rule "if you don't have something nice to say don't say it (or ask it) at all." Here are the wonderful collection of peoples comments/questions and how I wish that I could respond.
"Oh, are they twins.....?" ----- Yes, they are twins, hence the same clothing, same paci's, same earrings, twin stroller and the general overall look of sleep deprivation and haphazard look of my general appearance. Sometimes I just want to say nope, and walk away because when I answer "yes" we get the battery of the following questions.
"Oh, are they paternal?" ---- yes, they have a father... oh, you meant fraternal... yes they are that too.
"Are they natural?"--- nope, they are plastic. And I am still not really sure why this question is necessarily as if they mean less or not worth as much??!! Still not really sure.
Were you surprised when you found out they were twins??. YES!! I am pretty sure everyone is surprised when they find out they are pregnant, even when you "plan" to get pregnant there is something that takes your breath away when two lines appear.
And expanding on that last one... "Oh, you did fertility treatments, so you knew you were going to have twins...." Nope, I am not God, I can not foretell my future. I went with the recommendations of my team of fertility doctors, who were all in agreence that we would transfer two. And this question bothers me even more when it is projected that I should have known this was going to happen.
My favorite question is, "do they run in your family?" .. YES, I have twin cousins (which is not a lie!). Or, if they don't run in your family.. They do now! Usually if they ask this questions the questions stop!!!!
I know there are some sassy responses that I could never really say, so the majority of the time I just smile and nod and try to not make eye contact. Its really hard when I am just trying to get in and out of somewhere. The deck is already stacked against me having two nuggets to get in and out of the car, keep happy during our shopping expeditions, but to add everyone stopping you with questions it does not help!
Was reading other blog moms on the Web with twins and came across yours. Loved how cute your girls look, especially with little earrings! We have twin g/g which are fraternal and have had their ears pierced since 6 wks old, both with CZ studs, one with white gold and the other with yellow gold settings. When I was reading your post, "Crazy things people say" to you with twins, I had to laugh and smile.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to all your dumb questions people ask, I want to add another to your list. I've had moms say to me, "Are their ears pierced?" Of course, I say YES and go onto to tell them they were born with teeny, tiny, little holes in each of their ear lobes. The girls keep asking and asking for me to put little earrings in their ears. Finally at six weeks, I did :) This usually raises some eyebrows with an accompanying lack of response to my explanation for their "little pierced ears."
Recently, I've had a rash of moms before Easter asking me if they had pierced ears. I decided to make the formal announcement they had their ears pierced. How did I let all the nosey and curious moms know? Well, I put some 5mm CZ studs in their ears. No longer do I get the dumb question, "Look...(to their fellow mom(s) in tow...these twin girls already have pierced ears...aren't they pretty? Guess they can't miss the earrings now and can put ther picture puzzle together in their head. Next, however, they ask me twenty questions about having their ear pierced, and all wish they had done their daughters early like I did. Go figure....
Angie
angietune@hotmail.com